Kevin W. McCarthy

Do You Want More Balance In Your Life?

 

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It seems that everyone wants more balance. People want:

• A higher checking account balance
• A perfectly balanced body
• A balanced diet

So doesn't it make sense that one would ask, How do I find balance in my life? A balanced life flows logically and seems so attuned with the natural order. Life coaches, executive coaches, self-help gurus, counselors, and therapists galore teach the overwhelming benefits of having your life in balance. Being well intended doesn't replace being well thought out about such a central concept of personal and leadership development.

Do not seek balance in your life. It will misdirect, confuse, and frustrate you. It doesn't work, period. Instead, integrate your life with your purpose being the point of integration.

"So why, Kevin," you may ask, "are you such a contrarian?" No, I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I've studied, observed, and thought about this concept of living a balanced life for decades. Balance is a physical concept that cannot adequately grasp or reconcile with spiritual realities. Balance falls far short, yet it remains the popular culture ideal of enlightened living. In fact, it is hogwash!

Because a life in balance is a myth. It is one of those feel good, happy distractions that just doesn't work. People who are busy balancing their lives often miss it because they're so busy thinking they have to have their life together before they can go forward. Not true! Another myth! Doing life is learning life. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment of balance and harmonious happiness is wishful thinking, at best, and wasteful thinking most of the time.

Others will claim to be so busy, overworked, and stressed that they believe more balance will finally bring them the peace, comfort, and security they're working so hard to achieve. Wrong! Today's On-Purpose Minute points out the folly of that line of thinking.

In another On-Purpose Minute entitled "Do You Want A Balanced Life?" I invite you to really consider what you are seeking. In another post, you'll find my poem entitled "A Balanced Life." My hope is that you'll find that striving for balance is a frustrating folly not worth the effort. I've played the "balance your life game" in the past. No more!

Today when someone says "I want more balance in my life," I actually hear an absurd statement. You might as well say, "I'm hoping to walk to the edge of the earth one day and be able to look over it to see what's there." No Virginia, the world is not flat. The concept of balance in your life is equally flawed thinking despite being so broadly accepted.

So allow me to release you from the relentless pursuit of a vaporous standard that's impossible to grasp yet seems so easily within reach. Why live in the unhealthy definition of stress, which is what pursuing a life of balance creates?

Instead of wanting more balance in your life, seek to integrate your life around your purpose, then live into your purpose, i.e. being on-purpose. This isn't semantics, this is a seismic truth that provides order, focus, and clarity—and, thankfully, a healthy dose of "being out of balance." You'll learn to live with the joyful intensity of being "off balance" but being true to yourself and more on-purpose. Replace your old concept and you'll change your life for the better when you seek to integrate your life rather than balance it.

Tell me what you think in the comments section below! 

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So you think you have this on-purpose thing mastered in your work life? Yep, as you're getting more and more on-purpose you're being sought and placed into positions of leadership. Your star is rising. 

Now for the bad news—there's a downside to being on-purpose. Guard against the arrogance of being on-purpose or you'll end up off-purpose.

Are you a business leader looking for an executive coach to help keep you real? Below are two great referrals for you. Tell 'em I sent you.

1. Mary Tomlinson, my business partner, now in Raleigh, NC. Email Mary.

2. John Smith (yes, his real name), my mentor. Email John.

3. Email Kevin.

More On-Purpose Minutes

Is It Right To Pray For Your Business?

How Much Money Do You Want To Make?

What Is Personal Leadership?

Sales: Prospecting or Farming?

Are You Maturing or Just Getting Old?

How Are Your Marketing Strategy And Plans?

A "Balanced" Life by Kevin W. McCarthy

How's Your Trust Account?

Wow! Have you been watching the U.S. news lately? Between the IRS admission of targeting conservative groups, to the stand-down orders in Benghazi, to the Department of Justice investigating journalists, skepticism of government abounds. Poll numbers for Congress, the President, and the federal government, in general, are dropping. Has trust been violated? 

On a more personal note, have you watched as your savings and retirement dwindle ... disappear? Is your job in jeopardy or have you already been laid off? Are the foundations of your security shaken and showing signs of cracking? Is it stressing you to the point where you have no peace?

This On-Purpose Minute provides hope and perspective on the trust account you can have for free.

Click here to receive an email when I post new On-Purpose Minutes.

 
How do you find trust in the midst of the swirl of current conditions? Can you be peaceful? Please consider forming a small group to read and truly digest The On-Purpose Person using my newly launched guidebook called On-Purpose Peace. This is a robust and rich study specifically designed for small groups in churches, homes, or workplaces. No experience is necessary to facilitate a small group. Bring your desire to make a difference in the lives of others by helping them to be on-purpose. That with prayer is sufficient.

The best news of all: During June of 2013 the introductory price for the On-Purpose Peace Set (includes a soft cover of The On-Purpose Person plus On-Purpose Peace) is just $20, a savings of $15! Unless you're buying several hundred copies, you'll never see this price again. So buy now for your small group and save.

ORDER HERE

On-Purpose Business Minutes

Is It Right To Pray For Your Business

What Is The Purpose of A Business Plan?

IRS betrayed American trust, says new chief

Are You Prepared To Lose To Gain?

How's Your Customer Service?

What Is Money to You?

Sales: Prospecting or Farming?

 

Over the years I've had the opportunity to speak to numerous sales organizations from small local gatherings to international events in arenas. Whether it be an insurance, real estate, or direct sales organization, there are similarities and differences in their cultures.

One of the similarities is the emphasis on sales training. It is also one of the key differences. As a business person, business advisor, and speaker, I've had to learn to be a quick study of client companies. Language reveals much in any organization, but especially so in sales organizations.

Corporate executives set the tone. If the company is more manufacturing or technology oriented, I find they tend to favor the prospecting approach mentioned in this On-Purpose Business Minute. Customers are part of the "human resources" supply chain of logistical processes and transactions.

Company executives that favor the farming approach, however, tend to focus more on relationships. This longer term view of people sees a long tail of repeat business and referrals as they assess the lifelong value of a customer. It affects their commitment and investment in operations and, ultimately, customer service standards.

Salespeople who do prospecting and those who do farming are typically engaged in very similar activities of making sales calls, gathering information, and closing deals. As a salesperson, however, be astute to which is really the best approach. If you find yourself scratching your head wondering what are the higher-ups thinking, then there is a good chance they are oblivious to the culture they're creating. 

Years ago, a friend came to me ready to pull his hair out by the roots. He loved where he worked as an admissions representative at a private vocational college. The problem was he is a farmer and he was being measured as a prospector. Every phone call, email, piece of mail was measured and accrued to his measurement system. 

Together we designed a simple tool to engage possible students into a dialogue instead of a transaction. At great risk to his metrics, his call volume went down, his mailings decreased, and his number of "contacts" declined. The first month his boss was all over him for non-performance. However, by the second month his admissions soared to the number 3 spot of all reps—an achievement he had never before attained. Within 3 months, he was leading all reps and out-distancing them. Soon two reps approached him and asked what he was doing differently. Within a month all three of them held the top 3 positions.

They had discovered farming versus prospecting! This story isn't to illustrate that prospecting is bad. On the contrary, it is to say that the culture and the sales culture didn't match and the results were impoverished by comparison to a proper match. 

By the way, the story gets even better. In time, the leadership altered the system to reflect a farming approach that was people centric. Under the "prospecting" approach, student turnover (withdrawals from the college) were very high. With the "farming" approach, admitted students tended to stay in place. This was an unexpected bonus, but an intuitive result.

The point of this On-Purpose Business Minute for the executives, VPs of Marketing & Sales, and Sales Managers is to assess your industry, company, and culture. Decide which approach is best suited to creating the customer experience you wish to deliver. Armed with this information, evaluate your company language, alignment, and operations to see if you're on-purpose or not.

Related On-Purpose Business Minutes and articles

Why Is There A High Turnover of Salespersons?

How Are Your Marketing Strategy And Plans?

7 Reasons Sales Training Fails

Do You Know Your Target Audience?

Do Manners Matter?

Ladies and Gentlemen, your manners distinguish you for better or for worse. Above all manners are voluntary, a choice we make as to how you choose to be and to present yourself. 

Lately, I've been pondering both my language and carriage with a measure of concern. Our present culture is so accustomed to using and hearing profanity that we've lost our sense of what is truly profane.

Merriam-Websters online defines profane as: to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt. Ouch! I don't know about you but that isn't the kind of person I want to be known as being. 

Admittedly, I'm no Puritan as I'm apt to drop cuss words from time to time. When I'm real with myself, I don't like it when I do it. Cussing is typically lazy, dumbed-down language coming from the lesser me rather than the greater me. It tears me down and, worse, brings others with me—not what we leaders want to do.

Yep, both my manner and manners matter. I'm working to be the best Kevin I can be. Will you join me in cleaning up your language? When you do, you're also becoming a better leader of your life by becoming a lady or a gentleman. 

In this classic (April, 20 2010) On-Purpose Minute, you'll catch me at the Ritz-Carlton on Grand Cayman Island. After the video watch the quick 270 degree sweep of this beautiful resort. Special thanks to Daniel, the concierge, who suggested where to shoot the video and escorted me there. Truly a gentleman!

Be On-Purpose!

Kevin

More On-Purpose Resources

How Much Money Do You Want To Make?

Is It Right to Pray For Business (Part 2)

What Is The Meaning of Life?

The Edge of Change Interview

How Do I Find Peace In My Life?

Are You Owning Your Mistakes?

How Do You Get The Job of Your Life?

A tough economy means many people are stuck in jobs that no longer suit them, but they feel stuck. Worse, they find themselves in a repeating pattern of moving from job to job in a sort of trial and error attempt to find the right job.

The challenge here isn't necessarily the job, but the applicant! My implication here isn't that there is something wrong with you as a person. Quite the contrary; you're amazingly gifted and talented with a valuable contribution to make. You have a unique experience and background that is just part of what sets you apart. 

So what is the secret to finding the job of your life? It is your process that is flawed, not you. If you keep applying for the misfitting jobs, then you'll get the rejection letters galore. Or, worse yet, if you do get the misfit job, how soon will it be until you realize the mistake you've made ... or your employer does? Welcome to the repeating pattern.

What I proposed in today's On-Purpose Minute is a very different approach. Admittedly, my approach places the burden of work on you to craft and find the job that best suits you and where you will thrive. Too often, I've seen people settle for a close approximation of something meaningful or the decision is made purely for economic reasons. Being sold to the highest bidder offers some upfront thrills and rewards, but long term you have to ask yourself if this is the place, the people, the product, and the purpose where you can thrive.

A couple of decades ago, I recall my wife was looking to take a job with a defense contractor. Wisely, someone in an interview asked her this question: "Are you comfortable being in the business of killing people? At the end of the day, we talk in terms of 'kill rates' to assess the effectiveness of our products." Everything else about this job seemed like a great fit—great pay and benefits from working in a major corporation, nice people, interesting work, but ...  Judith decided to pass on that position because being in the "kill rate" business just wasn't who she is.

Several years ago Judith, after raising a family, decided to re-enter the workforce to become a health coach. Today she is in the business of saving lives by helping her clients to gain health. Here she is thriving because her heart is in her work. She's put it together 1-2-3. She's defined who she is and found work that supports her in becoming who and how God made her. The 3-2-1 approach almost invariably becomes oppressive rather than expressive. 

Today, Judith and I work together helping clients to be healthy and on-purpose plus we're training others to become health coaches by sharing in our joy of saving lives. 

Want to learn more? Join Judith and me this Saturday, June 1, in Winter Park, FL at the YMCA Crosby Wellness Center at 8:45 A.M. Go to www.DiscoverOptimalHealth.info for details, directions, and to register.

Finding the job of your life is the job of your life. Until you've figured out who you are, why you're here, where you want to go, and what's important, then you've placed yourself at a strategic disadvantage to find the job of your life. It is as easy as 1-2-3!

 

 

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How Do You Build Your Confidence?

  

Look at the kid in the front row, fourth from the left! Yep, the one with the rolled-up (room to grow) pants and small checkered jacket. That's yours truly in Mrs. (Lois) Johnson's Kindergarten in Bethel Park, PA! My guess is the photo was taken in 1960 and I'm five years old. I was one of the youngest kids in this class.

I was blessed with a very happy childhood. I don't look really happy on this day of the photograph. Come to think of it, none of the boys look too thrilled to be this close to girls (yuck!) and under such tight control with our hands in our laps! 

In reviewing my report card from those days, it read, "Kevin is young and lacks confidence." Fortunately, my parents decided to hold me back a year so I could grow in confidence. Yes, I repeated kindergarten! My parents' wisdom set me on a more positive trajectory for life. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Odd that I still remember those words and that label "Kevin ... lacks confidence." It used to really bug me that I was a person who lacked confidence. As I've matured, I realize how wrong my understanding of that statement was. Mrs. Johnson was offering feedback to my parents so they could make better decisions rather than labeling me. I'm the one who mistakenly "owned" the label. Five- and six-year-old minds do things like that. 

Each of us lacks confidence at the start of anything. Confidence can apply to a skill or aptitude, but not to the very nature or soul of a person—that's just too destructive. 

Have you bought a lie that you lack confidence or some other such nonsense?  Don't!

Let's rephrase the statement and shift your perspective. You just haven't yet found the bedrock of your beliefs and faith upon which to grow in confidence! I promise you that this solid ground for the soul exists in you. Like innate leadership, you have a place where you are designed and destined to be confident. It is a birthright that you may need to claim (or reclaim). Keep looking!

Look into the eyes of that little boy on the first row then and today. As a person, does he lack confidence today? I've been a speaker in arenas in front of thousands. I've been on TV and radio broadcasts throughout the USA and Canada. People without confidence don't do that. 

How Do You Build Your Confidence? There's the question I'm placing before you. I've found the readers of this blog are a bright bunch of people. Please share your insights, comments, or quotes in the Comments section below. Let's help one another become more confident as leaders of our lives.

Quotes About Confidence

Readers of The On-Purpose Person and The On-Purpose Business Person know that I start each chapter with a quotation. Today, I turned to my book of quotations about confidence specifically. These quotations will stimulate your thinking:

"I had no vision of the scope of what I would start. But I had confidence that as long as we did our work well and were good to our customers, there would be no limit to us."

    Sam Walton, Founder of Walmart (1918-1992)

 

"To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can."

    Sydney Smith, Anglican Clergyman and writer (1771-1845)

"Fortunate is the person who has developed the self-control to steer a straight course toward his objective in life, without being swayed from his purpose by either commendation or condemnation."

    Napoleon Hill, Author, Think and Grow Rich

"Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed."

    Channing Pollack, U.S. Magician and Hollywood Actor (1926-2006)

"Confidence is the feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself."

     Cicero, Roman philosopher, 1st Century B.C.

 

I leave you with one parting On-Purpose Proverb: "Awareness of one's lack of confidence indicates that your heart and your head are still talking. They just need to get the rest of the body moving so the next lesson can be learned more readily."

Related On-Purpose Minutes and On-Purpose Business Minutes

• Why Am I Fearful? (kevinwmccarthy.com)
• Will My Life Make A Difference? (kevinwmccarthy.com)
• Can You Put It Into Words? (kevinwmccarthy.com)
• How Are You Learning To Be In Business? (kevinwmccarthy.com)
• How Can I Be A Better Leader? (kevinwmccarthy.com)

How Much Money Do You Want To Make?

 

Regardless of whether you have a job or own a business, today's On-Purpose Business Minute invites you to explore three aspects of what it takes to make more money. 

Do you have the mindset, the multiplier, and the mechanism in place to make money? 

For most people, how much money they want to make isn't the challenge ... it is making that amount of money that presents the real issue. So let's revisit this classic On-Purpose Business Minute and explore some simple elements to making money.

Study the people who make big money—Sam Walton, Warren Buffet, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Stephen Jobs, or whomever comes to mind and I think you'll find the three M's I present are essential to the creation of wealth in a socially responsible manner.

Quotes about money and wealth:

Abundance consists not alone in material possessions, but in an uncovetous spirit.

                Charles M. Sheldon

 

Those who condemn wealth are those who have none and see no chance of getting any.

                William Penn Patrick

 

That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich; and is hence just encouragement to industry and enterprise.

                Abraham Lincoln

 

Click here to receive an email when I post new On-Purpose Business Minutes.

 

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Are You Building a "Me" or a "We" Business?

• Who's Reviewing Your Business Plan? (kevinwmccarthy.com)
• Can I Profit And Gain My Soul? (kevinwmccarthy.com)

Are You Making Half-Hearted Attempts?

The decision to add Health Coaching to our services at On-Purpose Partners a few years ago has been very eye opening for our traditional coaching work with clients. The difference is the BS Factor is so much easier to detect because either the client is gaining health or not. 

The scales don't lie, but we do. Recently, one of our clients shared that he came to realize he would look in the mirror and see himself as thin. At 6' 2" and over 340 pounds—and NOT playing in the NFL—he was deceiving himself. Therefore, with high integrity, he could "lie" to others about his growing health problems—he didn't have one.

I was just as guilty gambling with my health! For too many years, I would look in the mirror and see all the "muscles" I had gained over the years. Who was I fooling? Today, I'm soooo thankful for my health that I can't not share good health with others. Ah, the making of a zealot!

Half-hearted attempts reflect delayed decisions. "I'll get around to being healthy." "That hot fudge sundae won't kill me." "If I don't call that client today ..."

God gave you a whole heart so why make half-hearted attempts with it? Remember that purpose is symbolized by your heart. Here's the essence of the problem: you don't know who you are, why you exist, where you are going with your life, and what's important. The result: you're half-hearted, too busy, spread too thin, but your spread is thickening. May I help you?

Get in touch with your identity via your purpose, vision, mission, and values and you'll be prepared to be more fully engaged in your life. 

I'm very low in shrewd. I take what people say at face value. It wasn't until we had the health coaching business that I realized how much people say that they they will do, but don't actually do it. Many are highly regarded colleagues, thought leaders, coaches, leaders, and professionals. It has been eye-opening for me to come to terms that it is about 50/50 between the do and don'ts on commitments.

A friend taught us an expression years ago that Judith and I still use today. Here it is, "Mr. Say am here. Mr. Do ain't showed up." There it is in a nutshell! We're overworked, stressed, getting fatter, and whatever other pennies we earn, we pay in pounds packed on the waist.  

Are you ready to stop making half-hearted attempts to get healthy?

• If a health coach forwarded this message to you then ask for their help. Learn how easy it is to get healthy when you have a pro guiding you. And then make the commitment whole-heartedly.  
• If you need a Health Coach, then email me and I'll get you a free 30-minute consultation with one of our Certified Health Coaches.

Be On-Purpose!
Kevin

 

 

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How Do I Improve Sales Growth?

The economy is an easy target for slumping sales, but is it the right place to look? Sure, you participate in the economy but you don't control it. Instead let's focus on those items that are under your control that help to increase sales growth.

Tough times are even tougher especially when we allow ourselves to get distracted from what we do best. In my conversations with business owners, sales persons, entrepreneurs, and executives with P&L responsibility, I'm discovering that most of their challenges are self-inflicted. They just don't know what they don't know.

A poor economy only reveals what boom times hide. There are several directions I could go here, but I want to focus on one theme in this On-Purpose Business Minute—identity.

Test it. Ask someone what they do. Chances are they'll offer up their title or role, e.g. "I'm a banker." "I'm a salesperson." "I'm a health coach." "I'm a business owner." 

So what? 

This lazy response reflects an underlying strategic issue of identity confusion. Don't expect people to understand how you're on-purpose at work if that's the best you can give them to share your strategic story and the advantages of doing business with you.

Create your DoDo Dialogue. Here's a fast, easy way to more rapidly and meaningfully engage a volunteer word-of-mouth sales force to send you referrals and recommendations. All because you "bothered" to make their understanding of what you do easily memorable ... and frankly, more exciting to your ideal on-purpose customer or top target audience.

More On-Purpose Business Minutes

What Is The Purpose of A Business Plan?

Is It Right To Pray For Your Business?

Do You Know Your Target Audience?

How Are Your Marketing Strategy And Plans?

How Convincing Are You?

What Is The Purpose of A Business Plan?

Sales: Prospecting or Farming?

Why Is There A High Turnover of Salespersons?