Ready to take it to the next level of depth in your life? The On-Purpose Leader Experience will help you get much of the "should" out of your life so you can focus on where you can make the greatest contribution. Learn more at www.onpurposeleadership.com! Program starts Tuesday, Sept. 24. Enroll today!
Stop shoulding on yourself and others.
Should is a powerfully debilitating word. It combines the spirit of good intention with a built-in disclaimer of failure. It is more potent than wishful thinking, but far less honest. At least when we wish, we don't really have the expectation of it coming true. Should, however directive and well intended, is deceptive and shame inducing.
Shoulds can be self proclaimed. Here are examples of great shoulds:
- "I should lose 20 pounds."
- "I should call my mother."
- "I should make that sales call."
- "I should save more money."
- "I should speak up for myself."
These decrees of self-deception are mere words tossed off our tongues so we sound like we're on top of a matter and knowledgeable ... when, truthfully, we aren't. Words without action amount to just a pile of should.
Shoulds can be proclaimed to us. Typically, these are well meaning, yet misguided statements wrapped in opinion and bias delivered with great authority from a self-referenced expert.
Here are some great shoulds delivered to us.
- "You should go out and get a real job."
- "You should divorce him/her."
- "You should stop eating so much."
- "You should tell him/her off once and for all."
All these "should statements" are weasel words that fail to inspire or encourage. For example, which set of statements do you find more believable?
- "I should lose 20 pounds." Or "I will lose 20 pounds."
- "I should call my mother." Or "I will call my mother."
- "You should go get a real job." Or "Go get a real job."
- "You should tell him off." Or "Tell him off."
The bottom line: Strike the use of the word should from your vocabulary whether talking to yourself or someone else. People of strength don't mince their words by shoulding on themselves or others.
P.S.: As promised, here is the link to the free Discovery Guide preview. Use this to gain clarity and direction for your life.