Insights, inspiration, and practical leadership and business tips and advice for meaningfully integrating your life and work using the On-Purpose Approach by Kevin W. McCarthy
Ladies and Gentlemen, your manners distinguish you for better or for worse. Above all manners are voluntary, a choice we make as to how you choose to be and to present yourself.
Lately, I've been pondering both my language and carriage with a measure of concern. Our present culture is so accustomed to using and hearing profanity that we've lost our sense of what is profane.
Admittedly, I'm no Puritan as I'm apt to drop my share of curse words from time to time. When I'm real with myself, I don't like it when I do it. Cussing is typically lazy, dumbed-down language coming from the lesser me rather than the greater me. It tears me down and, worse, brings others with me, especially as a leader.
Yep, both my manner and manners matter. I'm working to be the best Kevin I can be. Will you join me in cleaning up your language? When you do, you're also becoming a better leader of your life by becoming a lady or a gentleman.
In this classic (April, 20 2010) On-Purpose Minute, you'll catch me at the Ritz-Carlton on Grand Cayman Island. After the video I do a quick 270 degree sweep of this beautiful resort. Special thanks to Daniel, the concierge, who suggested where to shoot the video and escorted me there. Truly a gentleman!
A couple of decades ago a friend of mine attempted to organize a mentor program for those of us in our thirties. He reached out to select men in their 50s and 60s to recruit them as mentors. To his surprise, all of the men he approached felt inadequate to the task of being a mentor. You see, they had never really been mentored so they perceived themselves as not being up to the task and responsibility. Sadly, the program never got off the ground as a result.
Chances are that you, too, don't have a mentor. But do you wish you did?
A mentor is a person with an impersonal interest in your personal leadership development and personal growth. You may be thinking, "'an impersonal interest?' I would think it would be a very personal interest."
Actually, those of us who mentor need to maintain a healthy distance from our proteges lest we run the risk of being too close to the person. We risk becoming their fan, instead of their mentor. The effect of too much closeness colors our perceptions and shades our reflective feedback.
As a mentor, I must place my commitment to the mentor-protege roles and process above the personal relationship. Similarly, a defense lawyer must place the system of law above the client to ensure justice is served.
To have a "yes man" as a mentor is to have no mentor at all. Mentors must be able to speak truth in love and be willing to suffer the consequence of offending. Truth is the stock and trade of a mentor.
Mentors aren't dictators; we refine and develop a person's inherent leadership and innate intelligence and capacity for good. Allowing proteges to experience the consequences of their decisions comes with the title of mentor. We need to speak our piece and learn to shut up. Our ultimate interest must be independent, not co-dependent proteges. Any mentor who is doing otherwise, it simply on an ego trip.
Yoda from Star Wars may be the most famous of all fictional mentors as the unlikely leader of the Jedi Knights. Wouldn't we all like to have a mentor teach us to use "The Force" so we can perform like a Jedi? Recall, however, how many times old Yoda seems to scrunch his face in dismay as Anakin or Luke Skywalker gets ready to do some impulsive (stupid) move that will turn the Force into a Farce.
Who in your life is or was a mentor for you? What is it about your mentor relationship that makes it special? What does your mentor provide you?
permissions granted for use of the above cartoon by Hugh MacLeod
In spite of my classic business education and conservative ways, I have a deep appreciation for artists who tear into the essence of the human condition to challenge the traditionally held views of society. All is not right since that one bite in the Garden of Eden.
A recent post I saw in Copyblogger.com by Hugh MacLeod inspired me to dig into his story. His artwork brought a smile of irreverent recognition for the prevalent challenges with so many in the workforce. Hugh's website, GapingVoid.com, includes a number of edgy "Cube Grenades" that he fiendishly lobs into the lives of his corporate captive audiences. Take a scroll around his cartoon log. Be sure to subscribe to his daily cartoons for an emotionally explosive reminder of how your work can be a noble expression of your purpose... or not!
If you're a fan of the hit TV show The Office, then for sure, Hugh's artwork will curl your lips upward. A bit of parody mixed with a dose of purpose may be just the recipe for prodding you to be on-purpose.
Hugh provides us with a great example of a person with a love and talent for something that doesn't fit the mold of what's expected. Instead of compromising who he is to become someone he isn't, he's growing who he is in order to be more of whom he can become. Sure, he's working hard at it! Sure, you're working hard too. Hugh provides yet another profile of a person building a life where the inner work and outer work are aligned and integrated in a productive and profitable manner.
Thanks Hugh for your Cube Grenades that blow holes in the facade of living with contented, unexamined mediocrity. You're encouraging us all to step into the boldness of being on-purpose: Be Yourself> Prosper> Make A Difference.
I'm finding far too many seniors are succumbing to the popular notion that age defines attitude. Who says you can't start a new business, begin to learn new things, or be adventurous when your decades number five or more?
Don't be down if you are up in age. Longevity centers in your spirit, not your chronology. Resist popular culture's notion that 65, the retirement age, is the end of your useful life. Retirement from a job doesn't mean your life is over. It is simply a time for a new beginning. Let purpose define your life not your age and you're closer to the truth.
Who is the oldest person you know or have ever known? What did he or she tell you about the ups and downs of longevity? Please share your lessons or comments learned in the comment section.
My Grandmother McCarthy died at age 97. Sure other people lived longer than Grandma, but few have had such a quick soft laugh and sense of humor - even after death.
A funny discovery came out at Grandma's funeral. She lied about her age. It all began when she met my grandfather. She was older than him by three months and she wanted him to think he was older. Her whole family was in on the scam. She was the eldest of eleven Kuhn children. Her youngest brothers and sisters (my father's aunts and uncles) were actually younger than my father. They're the ones who told my father at the funeral that her date of birth had the wrong year - she was born in 1900, not 1901.
At her 95th (96th!) birthday celebration, I remember her telling me, "If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have done things differently." She never did tell me what things, but I sense she had some regrets.
Along these lines, here is a quote on aging sure to get your crow's feet showing!
"If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made... because very few people die past the age of a hundred."
One the great benefits of grey hair, is that the older I get the more I see the hand of God at work in and around me. Of course, I'm asking for help regularly and am, therefore, expectant.
Dr. Wayne Andersen, Medical Director of Take Shape For Life, helped me learn new Habits of Health to not just prevent disease, but to move away from disease and toward health. Being at a healthy weight is essential to longevity.
One of the Gold Sponsors at the Central Florida Christian Chamber of Commerce is Florida Hospital. Penny Jones, their board representative, heads up the Healthy 100 program. Bravo to Florida Hospital because they're promoting the message that we can live to be a Healthy 100. Listen for the optimists and live a longer and healthier life.
I've found messages and the means to support my decision to live to be 100 years of age and healthy. I don't fret the small stuff because I have time. How about you?
Being on-purpose sounds like a great concept... and it is. There's a harsh reality to it in that it stirs up stuffed emotions and realities more easily tossed aside than faced head-on. Delayed emotions inevitably rise to the surface.
I'm a fan of Nic Askew's Soul Biographies series. This particular film features Brandon Bays and vividly illustrates the cost of living in emotional denial. Men may slough this off as "just another emotional female." Don't! I'm convinced that heart attacks - a major killer of men - are no different than Brandon's tumor. Manifestations of ill-feelings can result in illness.
While Brandon Bays is a New Age spiritualist, I have to admit a bit of a smile as I listened to her deepest truth to be right out of the ancient scripture from the Gospel of John (8:32).
Share your thoughts. Also visit Nic's website and donate to his film making efforts.
Michael is a really cool and creative colleague. We connected again recently and he shared his latest message inPink Bat. This is a book that will color your world differently!
Watch this amazing video of his latest book, Pink Bat, then tell me what you think about it!
Buy Pink Bat at Michael's site, order it, and, maybe you can get it signed!
Weight loss has a definite physical component, but there is so much more to being well. Our heart and soul, however, are what's often eating at us and why we eat to fill the void. This video
from the I Am Second series with Michelle Aguilar, a winner of The Biggest Loser TV show, provides great insight into the cause and cure. (Click on the image below of Michelle to watch the video.)
After watching Michelle's story, continue to view many more stories of some famous and not so famous people and why they are second.
Faithful Fish is an on-purpose business founded by Chelsea Eubanks from
the loss of many loved ones within a brief time. Rather than let it
send her world into a crisis of confidence and despair, Chelsea decided
she could prosper by being true to her interests while caring for others. CLICK HERE to read her story and to shop her clothing line of classic polos, shirts, hats, and outerwear.
Often the most meaningful businesses are birthed from solving a
problem that touches us personally. If you've ever met an insurance
agent whose father died early and the insurance policy left behind cared
for his mother and college education, then you've likely met a
successful and committed insurance agent. Scars may mark us, but we
determine if they are distinguish or disfigure us.
What lesson can you learn from Chelsea?
Allow me the pleasure of plugging Faithful Fish in this On-Purpose Business Minute:
Now and then we're inclined to suffer by inserting our foot in our mouth with negative consequences! In the world of business, these gaffes can cost you a sale, a client, an account, a job, or, heaven forbid, your business.
Hopefully, however, you can look back with a sense of humor as I can in this On-Purpose Business Minute. Some blunders can be tragic and it really isn't a laughing matter. Regardless, every blunder holds a lesson (or two or three). Some may even hold blessings when we search long and hard enough and the healing is complete.
As you'll see in my video, time tends to lend perspective and insight that pays dividends later in our life and career. After watching this On-Purpose Business Minute, please use the comment section below to share your business blunder and the lesson(s) you learned. You will help us all by not being off-purpose.
ShareThis
