A couple of decades ago a friend of mine attempted to organize a mentor program for those of us in our thirties. He reached out to select men in their 50s and 60s to recruit them as mentors. To his surprise, all of the men he approached felt inadequate to the task of being a mentor. You see, they had never really been mentored so they perceived themselves as not being up to the task and responsibility. Sadly, the program never got off the ground as a result.
Chances are that you, too, don't have a mentor. But do you wish you did?
A mentor is a person with an impersonal interest in your personal leadership development and personal growth. You may be thinking, "'an impersonal interest?' I would think it would be a very personal interest."
Actually, those of us who mentor need to maintain a healthy distance from our proteges lest we run the risk of being too close to the person. We risk becoming their fan, instead of their mentor. The effect of too much closeness colors our perceptions and shades our reflective feedback.
As a mentor, I must place my commitment to the mentor-protege roles and process above the personal relationship. Similarly, a defense lawyer must place the system of law above the client to ensure justice is served.
To have a "yes man" as a mentor is to have no mentor at all. Mentors must be able to speak truth in love and be willing to suffer the consequence of offending. Truth is the stock and trade of a mentor.
Mentors aren't dictators; we refine and develop a person's inherent leadership and innate intelligence and capacity for good. Allowing proteges to experience the consequences of their decisions comes with the title of mentor. We need to speak our piece and learn to shut up. Our ultimate interest must be independent, not co-dependent proteges. Any mentor who is doing otherwise, it simply on an ego trip.
Yoda from Star Wars may be the most famous of all fictional mentors as the unlikely leader of the Jedi Knights. Wouldn't we all like to have a mentor teach us to use "The Force" so we can perform like a Jedi? Recall, however, how many times old Yoda seems to scrunch his face in dismay as Anakin or Luke Skywalker gets ready to do some impulsive (stupid) move that will turn the Force into a Farce.
Who in your life is or was a mentor for you? What is it about your mentor relationship that makes it special? What does your mentor provide you?
Cover of Material Girl
The chorus in Madonna's 1985 hit single Material Girl is:
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
If your worldview is that of a material world, then money is what makes the world go around. But does money define purpose?
How would you live your life differently if you had unimagined wealth? In this On-Purpose Minute, let's explore the role money plays in mastering your life.
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Please watch my invitiation to you!
May I invest in your business with my best best thinking, business tips, and leadership advice? Each video and accompanying text sheds light on real business problems and life challenges we all face. Each is practical, poignant, and intelligent. Opportunities to learn, grow, and build a better business and life abound. Here you can profit and still keep your soul.
Have you ever tried to break a habit? At best, it is an awkward experience because we take ourselves off of "autopilot" and go into a "manual" mode. Things we didn't think about... now we do. And when it comes to breaking bad habits, the bad habit can preoccupy our thinking.
Athletes know that a normal part of breaking a bad habit is a slump in performance. It is expected. Perfection is not the standard, but progress.
Habits are defined as acquired behaviors. The implication here is that if we can acquire new habits, then we can also dispose of bad ones. Now there's hope!
Imagining life with benefits of our new habits is the easy part. Making it happen - not so easy! Our underlying premise has to be that we're capable of far more than we understand or will push ourselves.
I've been watching the Discovery Channel series, Surviving the Cut. While each branch of the military is training its soldiers for different missions, one consistent theme comes across. These soldiers will face life and death situations and they need to understand that they are far more capable than they know and understand.
Personal motivation - a compelling reason, a why, a purpose - combined with an unwavering willingness to pay the price defines the outcome. That said, extraordinary moments of truth emerge in the midst of the ordinary that test our purpose against our progress.
Moments of truth are pronounced in our self talk. I'm not talking affirmations, positive talk, or positive mental attitude here. Let's get to the guts of the matter, the real inner conversation. The ones haunted by doubt, fear, anger, discouragement, disappointment, and hopelessness. We need to be equipped which is why I hope the AAA Approach can work for you.
It is like there's a debate team living inside you. Who will win? How's your self talk coming along? Use the AAA Approach to intervene on behalf of your new, better habit. You'll be on-purpose!
Recommended Reading: Read Pat Pearson's book STOP Self Sabotage. Pat and I recently did an interview together. I really like the way this lady thinks. She brings great depth to the topic.
Weight loss has a definite physical component, but there is so much more to being well. Our heart and soul, however, are what's often eating at us and why we eat to fill the void. This video from the I Am Second series with Michelle Aguilar, a winner of The Biggest Loser TV show, provides great insight into the cause and cure. (Click on the image below of Michelle to watch the video.)
After watching Michelle's story, continue to view many more stories of some famous and not so famous people and why they are second.
Be On-Purpose!
Kevin
The Red Ball Review
In light of the "perfect game" pitched by Armando Galarraga (see the video of the bad call below), is it time for Major League baseball to invest in the instant replay to review close plays?
I say, "Yes, but on a limited basis." Balls and strikes should ever be subject to review. Just about everything else in the game can reasonably be reviewed to get the call right. Jeff Leadbetter's article, How Major League Baseball Could Implement Instant Replay... Right Now, reflects most of my point of view. I differ with him on a few matters: balks and catcher interference need to be reviewable. Five minutes for review is way too long. Baseball doesn't run with a clock, but let's give the umpires no more than 120 seconds to rule. Jeff Leadbetter's system of limiting the manager to the number of reviews per game makes sense. Let's allow for the addition of one additional, non-cumulative Red Ball Replay for extra innings.
Here's my idea that is uniquely baseball. Instead of a reg flag like football, I propose the use of an offical red baseball ball being tossed onto the diamond to call for a review of a play. The manager would toss the red ball in the general area between home plate and the pitcher's mound before the pitcher starts his motion for the next pitch.
The Red Ball Review would add a measure of excitement and anticipation to the game. One of the side benefits of the Red Ball Review instant replay option is that it might just speed up the game because it discourages much of the managers' posturing with umpires on disputed calls. Now they have to think before they burst onto the field in protest because they actually have an option other than being two inches from the umps face yelling and spitting. This option remains, but it gives the Manager a true means to resolve the egregious errors by the umpire crew.
If the Red Ball Review rule were in effect, then Mr. Galarraga would be in the record books as one who threw a perfect game. Finally, I don't advocate that Armando Galarraga be awarded a perfect game. I do advocate baseball learn from it and add the Red Ball Review.
On-Purpose Persons of the Week Award
Yes, the record books will never reflect his "perfect game," but what we all witnessed from this historic baseball event was the behavior of two perfect gentlemen. Character endures, accomplishments diminish over time. Mr. Galarraga and Mr. Joyce (the umpire) will, in fact, long and best be remembered more for being models of behavior in this instance outside the lines than perhaps more anything that takes places within the foul lines. That's why I'm making both of them my On-Purpose Persons of the Week!
Tell me what you think of the Red Ball Review rule:
Please use the comments section below. If you really like the idea, please share this post with friends and fans using the Share button above. Best of all, write to Major League Baseball and ask for the Red Ball Review rule.
Mr. Bud Selig, Commissioner,
Major League Baseball, 245 Park Ave., 31st Fl., New York, NY 10167
Phone: 212-931-7800, Fax: 212-949-8636, Toll Free: 866-800-1275
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You don't have to be 3M Corporation, Apple, or IBM with a sizable research and development business to be innovative. Meet Frank Petracca, my barber for the past 25 years.
When Judith and I first married, she would complain every time I came home from the butcher (barber) shop. Finally, she called a friend of mine whose hair cuts she really liked. She asked Bruce Woodruff who cuts his hair and he gave her Frank's name and number.
What was remarkable about Frank in 1985 was that he was a barber who worked only by appointment and catered to business people. He rarely ran late for an appointment and if he did it was 5 minutes at the most. Frank charged a bit more but the time savings of not having to wait at the barber shop for your turn was worth the savings. Frank's wife, Donna, would call to book an appointment. It was great customer service in a very small business.
He grew up in Italy and came to the USA as a teen. He became a citizen - a tax paying citizen. Frank lived in Buffalo and loves the Bills, and despises the Miami Dolphins (which is ironic you'll see shortly).
Frank and I have been through a lot together over the years. Frank was the first person to cut Charles, my son, hair. He called me when his wife Donna died unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm. We cried together. I saw his daughter marry and divorce. We talked about everything, we prayed together, but mostly we laughed together. As Frank moved his business I followed him from place to place. He semi-retired and cut hair out of his home the past few years. Yes, our relationship was hung together by a hair... joyfully!
Yesterday was my last haircut with Frank. At 70, he is retiring and moving to south Florida to be with Rosita, a love in his life for the past few years. She's a sweetheart. Does this mean he'll become a Dolphin's fan? Not Frank. He's from the old country and loyalties remain strong.
So here I am in Frank's barber chair for the last time. I wish Frank and Rosita best wishes for a great life together. I have been blessed in friendship by this innovative barber. Frank was my barber, but most of all he is my friend.
Frank was an innovator, but he never did answer my question, Frank, why are you putting that silver stuff in my hair?
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